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THE 27TH OF OCTOBER


He
is still crying and I don’t know what to do...

“I'm sorry for you,” I said, “but unfortunately you have to see your wife again to prove her identity.”

Shit. I was always in such miserable situations. In my first year as a doctor, there was a young girl, about 20 years old, who lost her baby. She was alone, without her boyfriend and family because nobody wanted the baby. But she happily looked forward. And then I had to tell her the bad news. She committed suicide. Even though it wasn’t my fault I felt guilty.

Then I had to tell a 19 years old pianist, who was looking forward to a big career because he was very talented, that he would never be able to play the piano again. He had gout. It made me sad. He didn’t commit suicide but everytime he saw a piano he had to cry.

This is a sad job but I have to accept it.

Now this man is crying and I think about Mr Crawl. Mr Crawl was my hamster when I was a child.

I was born in Spain in the Seventies. My father ran away when I was a baby, that’s what my mother told me. Until I was six, I lived with my mother and my grandmother. My grandfather died in World War I. Anyway we lived happily together.

On my third birthday my mother gave me a little hamster. He always crawled on the ground, that’s the reason for calling him Mr Crawl. I loved him really and I cared for him as best as I could.

On one hot and dry day in October, it was the 27th, our glasses on the table began to vibrate... and the vibrations became stronger and soon the glasses shook very powerfully and we too started to shake... then silence. An earthquake. But it was soon over.

I remember that my little heart beat up to my head. I had such fear for Mr Crawl. I rushed into the garden looking for his cage. I couldn’t see the cage — a tree had fallen down on it. My shock was so great that I felt my blood freezing in my veins, I couldn’t breathe anymore, my legs began shaking, my knees gave in and my hands felt sweaty. It was horror.

Nothing made me feel so bad like the death of my hamster and I never will forget that. The experience changed my life... from that moment I wanted to prevent the death of people and animals, to save them with my help.

Now I'm 30 years old and a doctor.

“Dr Kirsten Torres, please come to the emergency room.”

Well, now I have to return to work. But I still don’t know what I can say to the widower. I turn to him and say: “When I was younger I used to unbury my dead hamster to see if he had come back alive.”

He paused for a moment, thinking. Then he stopped crying. “Am I allowed to bury my wife in our garden?”



© Tina Richter
, 2006





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